Say What?

I had a recent trip to the dentist. Not too painful (in the mouth or the pocket). But apparently I am not getting enough Flouride. What? How can that be? I mean, what is the source of Flouride? Isn't that the stuff in water? Good question, but in some communities, there is no Flouride in the water. And that is another story and not for this blog entry.


So in lieu of getting Flouride the way that most people in urban areas get it, I was given some 'Flouride special' toothpaste; gel actually. Huuuuuummmmm, who knew that such a product existed ... ? It does and it runs $10 a pop. When is the last time you paid $10 for a tube of toothpaste ... ? Yeah, just let me stand in that line all by my lonesome.


Well, I got the special Flouride induced, toothpaste-like product and for some reason, I say to myself, read the directions before you just brush, brush away. Upon reading the instructions, I become baffled; I don't understand how to use the stuff. It's true.


There were only two bullet points for directions. I got by the first one: brush your teeth; but I must admit that I did get stuck on the second one: After use, adults expectorate gel. Huh? And that was pretty much it. You know how sometimes you can continue reading and sort of determine the meaning of a word ... ? I got stuck on expectorate. Never heard of it before. So with my toothbrush in hand, I got ahold of the dictionary and looked up the mystery word. Expectorate. Expectorate means to spit. That's it. Simply put. It seems weird, but that's all there is to it.


I don't know how I would feel if the directions just said, spit. A point is then made on the product because it goes on to say in the precautions area: DO NOT SWALLOW. I think spit, followed by do not swallow would clearly get the point across with less letters. However, if you are a crossword kinda gal, or guy, you will now know that an eleven-letter word for spit is expectorate. This is what I do; I'm here to help.